pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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