I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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