God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
