i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
