I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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