Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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