ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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