We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My vagina just clenched in fear
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
