My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
