She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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