normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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