So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
