You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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