she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
