Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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