i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
