Just cropdusted the office
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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