Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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