so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
