Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
40s are totally the cure
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
