Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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