ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
even my farts smell like vagina
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
