Her vagina should come with caution tape.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
