He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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