i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
