Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
