But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
