i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
