so explain again why im purple
no
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
