you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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