respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
