somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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