I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
