I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
