I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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