I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
