I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
