If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
