and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
