ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
