I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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