You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
