so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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