I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
