I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
