I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
