If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
