is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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