Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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