She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Come see our sink grown plant.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
