I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
