Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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