Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
