so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
