I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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